In which I kill romance with practicality

So as our wedding is 161 days away (just over 6 months) we’re starting to get down to the nitty gritty details of wedding planning. Which isn’t bad, really, just causing a lot of introspection about what I really want from my wedding. And really, it’s not a lot. Maybe I’m the least romantic person ever, but I don’t see getting married as ‘taking the plunge’, ‘the happiest day of my life’, ‘the first day of the rest of my life’, etc, etc. I mean, yeah, I’m happy to be with Brad, but I don’t need a wedding for that. I honestly really see marriage as a piece of paper, as a tick mark on the tax forms I have to file every year. People get married and divorced constantly, and that’s ignoring the whole ‘who has the right to get married?’ issue. If you want to use those specifications, the happiest day of my life would technically be the day I got engaged, I guess, when Brad asked me to spend the rest of my life with him, and I said yes. That’s the important part. Wanting to stay with someone day in and day out is what really matters, and being able to say I’m married isn’t going to change that at all. I mean, by the time we get married, we’ll have been together for 4 years, and engaged for a year and a half of that. To say that our lives our just starting over on that day erases all the growth we’ve had together up to that point. For the first four years of our marriage, our relationship before we got married will be a least half of our lives together.

So yeah, I’m looking forward to the rest of our lives being together, but that’s not starting on our wedding day. That already happened a long time ago. I’m excited for our wedding in terms of throwing a party for our nearest & dearest, and spending some vacay time together.

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One response

  1. I think that certain subcultures place so much emphasis (read: pressure) on “getting” married when the true joy and challenge lies in “being married.” I’m with you on the whole less is more vibe! (Although I love it when clients have a gorgeous fancy wedding, more fun for me!)

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